Hello.

I call Deb every morning or she calls me.  We have been doing it for about ten to fifteen years.  We talk about everything including the Channel 2 News Team.  We discuss the anchors and the weather.  We talk about our kids and things going on in our family.  Sometimes I call and tell her I was just calling to make sure she hadn’t fallen.  Sometimes I call her when she wants to be awoken to get things done.  When we are working on big projects we call each other at eleven to check in on each other’s progress.   If we ever don’t talk until later in day it is kind of like a habit or ritual that has been broken.  We share ideas for Activity Days and Young Women.  We look up blogs together and pin things on Pinterest and then talk about them on the phone.  I have called for recipes or she has called with questions about chalk paint.  She calls about the roads or I ask her if she is going to Michael’s.  She is the friend of all friends.  We do therapy, we laugh and we cry.  She is the only friend I can call at five am and she is up, just like me, and Channel 2 is on too.

My Siblings

We have certainly been going through a tough time with my Dad.  Most of us children have taken turns sleeping in the hospital with Dad and spending our days with him.  It has been rewarding and exhausting at the same time but through it all I am so appreciative and blessed to have the most incredible four brothers and three sisters.  There have been tears and so many many laughs because our Dad bestowed us with humor all of our lives. We started a group text so updates can be given by the person staying with him and meeting with the doctors.  I laugh each time I look at my phone because there is an update and then twenty “one-liners” of sarcastic, witty comebacks that follow and then a new update.   I have come to believe that laughter  does make everything easier, funnier and happier and I owe it to these great individuals for making this happen.  And as for Dad, we continue to pray these treatments will work and we can have you back soon.

I Do Grow Big Peonies Though!”

Houston played Wasilla tonight and Steph and I got to visit.  We watched and talked and it was great.  Lisa Humphreys engaged us in a short conversation as everyone was leaving and as she left we both turned to one another and said, “Don’t you just love that woman?”  Lisa, one of the only outsiders (out of our family) to read my blog has encapsulated herself into my soul because of all that she is.  She is genuine.  She looked me into the eye and expressed sadness and interest in my Dad, it was truly heartfelt.  Lisa does everything.  She is billboard material.  Oprah or Ellen could do segments on her.  She “is” Houston Hockey.  She “is” Houston High School.  I have never won one of her quilts in the raffles but I have certainly supported the hockey association with the number of tickets I have bought to win one.  She should have one hanging in the DMV office with all the other quilts.  That is an honorable thought to me, I hope it is to her.  Lisa is the “go to” girl and that by far is a quality in her that I work on for myself.  I love people that are given tasks and they get it done.  If you want something done, give it to a busy person.  Lisa gardens.  She blogs, ” Wicked Raven Farm Blog” is her baby and you will be mesmerized by all that she does in her garden and with the kids at the school.    All in all, it is a privilege to put her on my mentor list.  I have been blessed by her life crossing into mine.

The Perks of Alaska??

All within an hour this morning I experienced the perks of living in Alaska.  Actually, they aren’t quite the perks, more like the poops.  May I just share a few.  I got in the shower and my conditioner was so thick and clumpy it didn’t want to come out of the bottle.  Too cold.  I was making a fried egg sandwich for Rhea and the butter was so hard when I went to put a little in the frying pan I had to chisel me off a small clump. Too cold.    I looked out the window to check the thermometer and well, it wasn’t too easy to see out the window with all the frost. Too cold.  I had to start my poor little ice cube of a car to get it all warmed up and it cried out to me, “it is just too cold.”    By the time I headed down to the school the poops were all gone and I saw all the perks.  Frozen trees, beautiful dark morning sky and a moose sauntering across the road without a care in the world made me see all the perks.

Not My Cup Of Tea

On my way from Boise to Salt Lake City I stopped in Twin Falls to grab some lunch.  Since I flew all night I was tired and so looking forward to a great fountain soda with ice.  I saw a Chick-Fil-A and thought that would be a great lunch so I went through the drive thru and ordered.  I pulled through and opened my chicken sandwich and just as I got back on the highway I took a huge sip.  Oh yuck…………….ice tea!   I can still remember the taste. . . . . yuck!

Lost

I felt lost today.  I am home but my Dad is so far away.  I got a text from my brother with the doctor’s update so I kind of knew the rundown.  We are at a scary crossroads with a new team of neurologists arriving tomorrow.  Please give one of them new insight and the fortitude to use those intelligent thoughts to find our answers.  Each day goes by and Dad seems a little worse.  We seem to be a little sadder.  I listened to a voicemail Dad sent on December 26, 2014 on my iPhone.   He sounds so good, so normal, so much my Dad.  It makes me sad but it makes me happy.  I need to keep him near.  I’ll think I listen to it everyday.

Where are you Dad?

I just left the Clinical Neurosciences Center and the University of Utah where my Dad still resides.  it was a tough afternoon and evening for Scott and I.  Dad struggled with many things and we were forced to be firm with him.  The mind is such a complex thing and we see the frightening realities that is has placed before him.  For this reason, we struggle so much to find something physical that can be addressed.  The slate is still clean on that matter.  I know the neurologists have a far greater knowledge than I but I just can’t stop trying to diagnose the matter as each day ticks by.  Leaving him was so hard to do but also leaving my line of one on one communication with the doctors has also been severed.  As we turned the lights off in the room to get Dad to sleep I slipped out the door.  Saying goodbye was more than I could endure after being there for four days so just removing myself quietly was the best.    I found this picture I had quickly snapped today and I ache inside asking again those words, where are you Dad?  Your mind is so far away from mine.  I love you.

The Film Crew

It’s four am and Dad is trying to start his day doing film work.  He slept until 2:30 am which was a blessing.  He had a new IV put in at 3:30am.  I remind him each time he awakes that it is night time.  We are working on the delirium first and trying to orient him to daytime and nighttime.  He calls out my name and then I reassure him he is ok and let him know he is in a hospital. He understands that when I tell him but he says people should be up working instead of sleeping.  “What is wrong with this world?” he asks.  Dad ‘s wonderful sense of humor is still there in the midst of cloudy thoughts.  As he semi sleeps and mumbles anyone listening can tell he was always the “man in charge.”  Just sleep a little longer Dad.  As I hear his deep breathing I am so content – his mind needs rest- then I see his feet jiggling at the same and I know this nap is only a very short one.  “Tara, are you there?  Tara, are you there?  We are up.

Rest

My Dad may not remember I was here tonight.  I kissed him and tucked him in but two minutes later he sat up agitated. I calmed him down but he is still muttering things we need to do tomorrow.  Dad needs to sleep tonight.  His mind and his body need to rest from all he has been through.   I wish it was as easy as a bandaid to the brain but that would make life too simple.  He is breathing heavy now. . . please Heavenly Father give him a night of peace.  Just let him know that he is a wonderful father and that i love him.

The Wells

I am writing this post in my own room, with my own bathroom, in my own wing of the most beautiful home way up high in the hills of Salt Lake.  It is the home of Uncle Bob and Aunt Helen and they are our gracious hosts so we are close to the hospital.  The walls share stories and tell tales of great people that have been in their lives.  I captured a few in my room of Mitt Romney and another of Ann Romney.  President Reagan’s picture is down another hall.  There is an elegance and richness throughout the home but there is also a legacy of service, gospel strength and world church leadership.  I can’t think of a more peaceful place to be in such a difficult time for us as we struggle to help the doctors find answers and solutions for Dad.  Goodnight Mitt and Ann.