“Good” Movie

While busily working at my kitchen counter and semi listening and watching a movie on Hallmark I heard the most beautiful prayer.  I don’t know the origin of the prayer but it was so amazing I rewound the movie to grasp all the words:

“Heavenly Father, darkness closes in on us, our hand are poised for battle, our weapons are drawn and ready.  We mourn our losses and struggle to grasp what we do not understand.  But every sunrise brings us a new day full of hope and possibilities.  It brings us new opportunities to love . . . forgive. . . to share . . . to trust and to belong.  We stand in the face of fear, yet we are not afraid.  We open our hearts to let your love in, to love us and guide us.  Father encircle us with your light, and wrap us in your perfect love, today tomorrow and always.  In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Faith

“This present pandemic presents a precious opportunity to demonstrate faith.  Often those opportunities seem rare.  In our modern age we don’t have to worry about parting the Red Sea, because we have engineers that can build a bridge over it.  We need some reminders from time to time that those beautifully engineered bridges can collapse, so to speak.  This pandemic is just such a collapse.”

                                                           Jeffrey R. Holland

They Deserve All

Another great night of sleep and a dream I remembered.  I laid in bed wondering why I dreamt about two of my favorite people.   Why wouldn’t I?  Tim and Lacey  are high in my books of great humans that I look up to as great examples.   Then . . . Lacey shared a post that I will add parts of.  So strange how that works.  I pondered, I wondered, I dreamt and then came an answer right away.  Love these moments and I pray that Tim and Lacey are blessed beyond measure for their trials. ” I gave it my all. With that said, I realized I needed to step back for a moment. I was giving it my ALL! There are many reasons as to why I made this difficult decision. The original plan was to run the preschool for a little while, then start a family. That didn’t happen, so I just kept plugging along. Then I came to a point where I needed some time & space. There is an end to every season, even if the season is beautiful & happens to be your fave. Tim and I started looking into other options, like finding a new home/building for MKP, but we quickly realized this will require a lot more than we have to give at the time being; maybe in the future…who knows? Right now I am focusing on personal growth & career development (probably soul searching too). I started teaching at Elizabeth Academy as an Early Childhood teacher this week. My friend McCall Erickson says it best, “Life is mostly this: trusting in what we can’t yet know.” I really don’t know what my future holds. If anyone has a crystal ball- holla! I need one. Also, I do have to give a big shout out to my #1 supporter, Mr. Tim. He was very tolerant of drying paint projects in the kitchen, Play-doh on the porch & Orbeez in the garden. He helped me so much on the business/technology side of things, picked up dog poop every morning, listened to my fun stories each night about the preschool day & legit supported me every.single.step.of.the.way. The children all loved Mr. Tim. We had a little graduation outside for the children this spring. Afterwards Tim & I cried together. We both loved having children in our home, contributing to our local community & building a successful business together. Thank you everyone who supported MKP. It would not have been possible without you. This is making me cry now. 😭

Grandma, Look!

“Grandma, look!” Remi said as she turned and got close.  Her golden marshmallow was stuck on her lip and without asking I assumed she needed a picture taken.  We had all gathered around my “burning stuff” campfire and the kids roasted marshmallows while Mom and Dad hiked Lazy.  Other cousins came to join and we laughed, talked and got marshmallow sticky.  Everything is now a picture, a memory that these younger children will grown up with.  Dash believes that when Mom’s phone rings it is always Grammie.  Hatcher likes me to FaceTime and we read books and Paige and Remi watched Mrs. Crumb decorate cookies.   Every step is a visual thought and memory and it is recorded.  Georgie looks and I say ‘Porgie” and click – we have connected.  It is all pretty awesome and another part of living and remembering this precious life in which we have been given.

How You See Things

It is all about how you see things.  As I worked in the yard all day today I was thinking about things   I  thought about how much I enjoy my new lawnmower and the great lawn lines it gives me.  I noticed all the weeds our new lawn has produced and comforted myself  with that fact that we will “get em” in the spring.  I noticed a shroom peaking in between the deck boards.  They will try for any place they can.  I rechecked the hornet’s nest that I thought I destroyed but I’m not too sure if it is vacant or not.  I stood looking at my stacked wood and thought about how great that feels to have it done and how cool rows and rows of split wood really does look.  “I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.”  (Clara McMaster)

The House Smells Fishy

Twenty-two pints of salmon line up like little soldiers on one of my food storage shelves.  It has been a busy few days of cutting, seasoning and processing and a lot of thinking.  Each year as I ‘can’ the dip netting catch it is synonymous with fall coming and the fireweed peaking.    It then reminds me of winter after that and how we are to store and be prepared for what the harsh cold may bring us.   The wood gets split and stored in the shed and I survey what my food storage is in need of.  It is the calm before the storm, it is contentment and pleasure in facing any challenge that may come forth.  That is my feeling as I pressure cook the salmon but for my children it means salmon patties, rice and corn . . . a Styers’ favorite.

The Big Box

A big box arrived and it was for me.  A birthday gift that I was told would be coming a little late.  Inside the big box was another box and it said “Sleep Therapy Weighted Blanket.”  I knew that it had come from Devin and Brooke and I had heard about these blankets but now I was going to experience them first hand.   This is what I read, ”  Weighted blankets work in a way that’s similar to an OT technique called deep touch pressure therapy (DTP). Pressure on the body can increase the release of serotonin in the brain. This neurotransmitter is sometimes called the “happy” chemical because it creates a sense of calm and well-being.”   Let me stand on a mountain top and shout out for all to hear that this blanket is absolutely amazing!!!  I slept sooooo good and I’m looking forward to going to bed in fourteen more hours from now.  So awesome.

Girl!

Rhea’s card arrived in the mail and I opened the pretty pink envelope to a scattering of confetti.  I yelled “Girl!” and captured what I could in my hand before I had a real mess.  I gently pulled out the card of sweet sentiments and a one dollar bill.  She said it was all she had and to go buy a soda.  I smiled and drove onward thinking about those few words “all I have.”  What she can given me while serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is worth way more than a dollar.  What she has taught others about Jesus Christ is worth way more than dollar.  How she has strengthened herself and grown is worth way more than a dollar.  Learning an entire new language is worth way more than a dollar.  I felt like a millionaire off to buy my soda smiling with confetti still stuck on my capris.

In My Prime At 61

Today is my birthday and it couldn’t have been spent better than with a house full of family and phonecalls from all my children who couldn’t be here.  I received great gifts and a yummy cake of my choosing which was a Peach Crisp Cake beautifully made by Micah.  We had homemade pizzas (my choice) and it was just a great day.  As everyone left and I was cleaning  (although most everything was already picked up) I saw a little piece of trash from underneath the chair downstairs.  I pushed the chair and found a huge pile of wrappers and I laughed out loud.  That second made my birthday the absolute best ever.  It was a moment of realness, a memory, a few seconds of knowing right away who left them there, a laugh that was genuine and times that you wish would just freeze forever or repeat every single minute until my journey does end.  I have an amazing life.

No Dad No

How precious are the moments when we read our grandchildren’s writings from school.  As a grammie of sixteen these moments of sharing are always appreciated and loved.  Micah called to share Hinckley’s little book he wrote  in his new first grade class based on the book No David No.  The stick figures are typical of his age and gender.  The book starts off with a title page of No Dad and then a picture of David, his Dad.  The second page shows David and a woman, presumably his wife and mother of his children and there is a bold explanatory word “punch.”  Oh my goodness his teacher, the principal and probably the counselor are all sitting around a table addressing the subject of domestic violence in the David and Micah household.  We are still laughing over this one.